There is an old joke that virtually every pilot has heard and agreed with immediately.
“How do you know there’s a pilot at your party? They’ll tell you.”
Yeah, I can admit to being guilty on that score. I’m a pilot and I’m not a bit shy about telling anyone who shows the least bit of interest.
We are a proud bunch. Deservedly so. Learning to fly isn’t easy. Learning to fly well is a lifelong challenge that never ends.
The book learning has to be ingrained into our thought processes. Added to that theoretical knowledge are the many ever-changing variables like wind, runway width, length, obstacles, and traffic, to name just a few. With each takeoff, with each landing, we refresh our desires as we simultaneously challenge our skills.
Landing that Cessna 152 or Piper PA-28 so many of us learned to fly in was one thing. Stepping up to a taildragger or a high-performance airplane with retractable gear and a constant speed prop adds a whole new dimension to our workload. It tends to ratchet up our cool factor too — at least in our own mind, if not anyone else’s.
Recently, a question popped up in the public’s hive mind that relates to those of us who fly. This question is specifically intended to be posed to the wider population though. To those who fly as passengers. People who have never found themselves in the front seats of an airplane, with controls in their hands and a panel full of instrumentation in front of them.
The question is: Do you think you could actually land an airplane in an emergency situation?
This may be the ultimate male fantasy that doesn’t involve a hotel room and a bit of creative license about why you didn’t come home last night. If the pilots of my airliner were incapacitated by a tainted fish dinner and a pot of amoeba-infested coffee, could I rush to the cockpit, slap on a headset, and bring that puppy in for a landing?
Frankly, I think the likelihood is slim. Let’s consider the reasons I might be comfortable bursting the bubble of millions of men and women who dream big.
1: What’s this switch do?
Not long ago a flight attendant asked me an interesting question. “Do pilots actually know what all those switches and levers on the flight deck do?”
Yes, we do. In fact, we’re tested on knowing what every switch, display, level, and button are for. We’re even supposed to understand the system behind that control and how it works.
Pilots study. The idea of a pilot taking off in an aircraft they don’t really understand is a true rarity — one that rarely works out in the pilot’s favor.
2: Which way to the airport?
I suspect everyone who holds a pilot certificate in their wallet has a clear memory of at least one time while in primary training when their instructor said, “take me back to the airport.” It was then, in that moment, we realized we had no idea where the airport was.
Unlike in the movies where we see airplanes on final approach with a big, straight, well-lit runway laid out before us, in real life airports aren’t all that easy to spot from the air.
Unless we’re aligned with the runway, the airport doesn’t look all that airport-ish. It takes time to develop the ability to spot them and position the airplane for an approach to landing.
3: The configuration conundrum
Most light, single-engine airplanes have immovable landing gear and a fixed pitch propeller. If you can move the throttle you’ve got a good chance of controlling the airplane. Not well, but you can make things happen.
Airplanes designed to carry passengers who might be called to intervene at some point (in their imagination) tend to be a bit more complex. Reconfiguring the airplane for landing is a must. Flaps, landing gear, engine power, and control inputs that result in a stable descent are all necessary. That’s a lot of activity for someone who is sitting in the left seat for the first time.
I’m not saying it can’t be done. It can be. It has been. Passengers have indeed landed an airplane after their pilot has become incapacitated. It’s rare, though.
My slightly mirthful point is that most of the people who are fantasizing about the heroic moment when they save hundreds of panicked passengers by sliding that Airbus or Boeing transport onto the runway with style and grace are pretty much dreaming. Their 15 minutes of fame will have to come from somewhere else.
This all comes to mind today because I recently saw a post in my social media feed that asked the very question that led to the creation of this column. To refresh your memory that question was: “Do you think you could actually land an airplane in an emergency situation?”
My answer is simple enough. Yes. I’ve been landing airplanes for decades now. And while I’m not type rated in the A350 or the B-777, I’ve flown the sims and have reasonable confidence I could find a way to use the resources available to me and get that thing back on the ground. I imagine they might be able to use the airplane again, too. Then again, I might be the guy who overheats the brakes on rollout.
The most entertaining and sincere comment on that thread came from the original poster. He asked what his odds of success might be if he and I flew for an hour first so he could practice.
If only it were so. Imagine a world where student pilots with no ground school experience and only one hour of flight time could solo with confidence. That would be amazing.
Be proud, pilot. The 99.8% of the population who have never sat in your seat have no idea how much skill and knowledge is contained in your head and hands.
But we know. And maybe that’s enough.
I recall reading a book about Air America and a crusty older pilot of theirs they called “shower shoes” (because that’s what he wore when flying DC-3s). Well, someone decided his Chinese issued license was insufficient, and they sent him home to get an official FAA license. He walks into a stateside flight school and announces he needs to get his license. A young CFI sat down with him, and shower shoes motions to a DC-3 out on the ramp and says “I want to fly that.” The CFI smiles and condescendingly says something about starting him out in something smaller, like one of the Cessnas. Shower shoes dumps a bag of log books out on the table and tells the CFI something along the lines of “son, I’ve got more hours in DC-3s than you’ve been alive…” 😂
As for shower shoes, as I recall (need to dig out and re-read that book), the higher ups gave him grief about his footwear-he flew with just his shower shoes, a sandwich, and a beer. Asked him how he thought he’d be able to walk out of the jungle in flip flops if he went down. “Last time it took me about three days…”
I decided to get back into GA flying after retiring off the A350. I went to the local flight school and asked for a CFI to work with me for as much time as we both felt I needed. He was probably just over 1/3 of my age and an outstanding instructor. Off we went in a DA-40. My first landing attempt was memorable. He was silent as I flew the pattern and final. I began to flare and heard his calm, measured voice: “Dude, if you’re trying to do a go around you should really add some power.”
Slightly different landing picture than what I was used to. It took a few bounces to get it right!
I think most experienced pilots know their limitations and we know non-pilots and private pilots would have a hard time going from a Cessna 172 to a B-737. Only in the movies!
As a brand new CFI, working at KMLB’s FIT, (Jamie knows of which I speak…), I used to love giving rental checkouts to airline pilots. It was my chance to ‘impress’ them with my (ahem) skills …as I attempted to correct the aforementioned flaws in their light airplane landing techniques.
However, my most memorable episode involved an about-to-retire United DC-8 captain, who showed up with a logbook the size of a Los Angeles phone book…which I was then required (by company policy) to ‘review’ in its entirety.
He almost quit on me in disgust.
This was during the pre-“headset with microphone” era, where you had to transmit via a hand-held mic, and listen, over all the other background din, to the cockpit overhead speaker.
KMLB is a towered airport: Every time we needed to talk on the radio, he’d lay the mic cord over my left leg….
…and I’d lay it back over his right one.
That’s funny…and totally relatable. I too started flying without headsets, straining to understand calls filtered through the overhead speaker. Mic management was an occasional issue as you noted.
Oh, the memories.
When I got my 150 (in 1982), there was a microphone in it. A year later, I was in Skycraft Surplus in Orlando, and there was a big bin of “WW2 surplus antique microphones” at $2.00 each. Guess what I had . . . and I upgraded the next day.
I’d think a pilot could land an airplane one step up from what they are flying now. Might be messy, the airplane could get damaged, but they’d be on the ground and stopped, hopefully on or at least near the runway. A 150 pilot could likely land a Mooney or Bonanza, The Mooney pilot could probably handle a light twin, the light twin pilot could probably do something like an older King-Air, the King-Air pilot could do a Beech 1900, and so on up. Can the 150 pilot land a 747 or an A380? Very, very doubtful. How about a non-pilot? Hollywood notwithstanding, forget it, just ain’t gonna happen.
I might think with direction from ATC a ga pilot could make a safe landing if a commercial pilot’s become incapacitated ?
But myself I’m just a ga pilot with taildragger and areobatic training.
Back in the 70s when I was getting my license, I’d go places with the commercial pilots for the ride.
Thier advice to me at that time was to continue on with my chosen profession and keep the flying as sport! It will always be fun.
I thoroughly enjoyed my years with friends and family sharing my excitement! Especially inverted and seemingly of control!!
Great times great memories.
But back to it. I think a ga pilot could be coached in for a safe landing in a commercial airliner?
Jammie:
Most “non-pilot” folks think that GA pilots that fly small planes should be capable to safely control and COMMAND large airplanes with the skill of an ATP.
When I’m questioned on this topic, I ask them are they a safe driver and do they have the skill to operate their car in the transportation environment?
I usually get a big “YES” when I ask this.
I then say well if you are highly skilled driving, you should be able to drive an 18-wheeler or a Gray Hound bus in the transportation environment.
Their usually response is, “Well of course NOT!!!”
They will then reference additional training is needed to raise the driving skill to operate larger vehicle SAFELY.
As with airplane each one takes specific training to operate safely.
So, it’s a fool that thinks that they need not continue to strive to improve their skills on whatever they participate.
Regards,
Mike CFII
The following quoted sentence is completely irrelevant and off-topic, and should have been omitted:
“This may be the ultimate male fantasy that doesn’t involve a hotel room and a bit of creative license about why you didn’t come home last night.”
Bought a GA airplane a decade ago, while I was flying 767-400s for an Atlanta based airline. First six months I owned it…maybe longer, I flared in stages, stair step-like. Vastly different picture, of course, in the landing configuration. After a few months, it became second nature, but the differences are vast.
On the other hand, I feel pretty sure that if I could do it, you could too, Jaime.
See you at Oshkosh
Are Cee,
All my flight school buddies agree with you. I stuck with the General Aviation market while they went to high end corporate, the big freighters, and the airlines. They assure me that I’d be trainable. And of course, I tend to believe that if I could figure out 1.3x Vso I could probably find a way to get pretty much anything with wings back on the ground. Maybe not with style, but I’m sure gravity would be a great help in getting me back down to Earth eventually.
I had several flights with airline pilots who decided to get back into a Skyhawk for fun after flying only in the airliner for 10 years. On the first approach, every single one started the flare way early, at the same point I’m sure that it’s started in their airliner – 20-30ft too high for the Skyhawk. That issue was always quickly resolved. It would be equivalent to parallel parking a Mini-Cooper after driving a tracker-trailer. If Jamie can land an airliner in the sim, I bet he would do pretty decently in the airplane – if needed, airline pilots maintain currency in the sim, correct?
I’m a non-pilot whom grew up in a GA family. Spent anfair amount of time in right seat and was allowed to “fly” the aircraft on numerous occasions (172, 185). Could I put one down in an emergency. Probably so, would the aircraft be intact?? Possibly but doubtful!! As far as bringing in a light twin or forbid a “heavy”…….not happening!!!! Wouldn’t even begin to try!!!
Pure fantasy or possibly mind altering substances!!!!