A recent study from YouGov asked men and women whether they believed they could land an airliner if both pilots became incapacitated. The results probably won’t surprise you: Nearly half of the men surveyed believed they could do it compared to 20% of women.
So what does that have to do with flight training? Quite a bit.
Earlier this year, our family pulled into Leesburg International Airport (KLEE) in Florida to begin the trip home from the SUN ’n FUN Aerospace Expo. As we walked toward our airplane, I noticed a young man pacing anxiously near the ramp. It was obvious someone’s first solo was about to happen.
Sure enough, an Embry-Riddle Aeronautical University training aircraft taxied toward the runway. The instructor stood nearby with a handheld radio while the student lined up for takeoff. I was waiting for my husband and the boys to finish preflighting our airplane, so I wandered over and struck up a conversation.
We chatted as the student began her takeoff roll. Once she was airborne, the instructor explained that he had chosen Leesburg because it was calmer and less congested than many Florida airports. Before we knew it, she was already turning onto short final.
I fumbled for my phone and started recording. The instructor was so absorbed in the moment that capturing video never even crossed his mind. Together, we stood there holding our breath as she executed a beautiful landing.
And she knew it was a good one, too.
Over the radio, she told her instructor she wanted to stay in the pattern for a few more laps. One landing became two, then three, all smooth, all confident. We clapped and cheered from the ramp. Even my husband, a DPE who has watched countless students over the years, smiled and said to the instructor, “Look what you taught her.”
It was one of those unexpectedly beautiful aviation moments that reminds you how important all parts of the flight training journey are.
Soon enough, our own preflight was complete and it was time to head home. I AirDropped the video to the instructor, and we climbed into our airplane. Just as we were preparing to start the engine, a golf cart carrying the student and her instructor rolled by. They slowed near our airplane, and all of us leaned out to cheer, wave, and give enthusiastic thumbs-up.
The look on her face said everything.
Which brings me back to that study.
A few months earlier, during the season opener for one of the aviation safety and training events I coordinate, a conversation came up about differences flight instructors often notice between male and female student pilots. One instructor shared something with my husband, Shane, that stopped me in my tracks: “A man tends to have the confidence before the skill, while a woman tends to have the skill before the confidence.”
Of course, there are exceptions. Plenty of male student pilots struggle with confidence, and there are female pilots who have it in abundance. But in many cases, that observation rings true. And for me, it was a lightbulb moment.
Because in my own flight training, confidence has always been my biggest hurdle, even though my family runs the FBO at Pella Municipal Airport (KPEA) in Iowa. Shane often tells our instructors, “She needs a cheerleader.” Honestly, I think everyone in aviation has needed a cheerleader at some point in their journey.
And with private pilot training carrying a dropout rate estimated around 80%, the combination of the challenge and self-doubt quietly pushes many students out before they ever earn a certificate.
Not long ago, I was frustrated after a lesson was canceled because of weather. I jokingly said I was never going to finish my private pilot certificate. A well-meaning airport bum replied, “If you’d just buckle down, you could finish in two weeks.” And maybe I could complete the requirements in two weeks. But I’m not sure confidence works on that kind of timeline.
Over time, though, I’ve learned a few things that genuinely helped me build confidence in the cockpit.
Preparation matters. The more I plan, the better I feel about the flight. Give me all the checklists, alternate plans, and backup scenarios.
Consistency matters, too. This has been a challenge because our family lives at a relentless pace, but when I’m flying several times a week, my confidence grows right alongside my proficiency.
Advocating for yourself is equally important. You know how you learn better than anyone else. If you’re spinning your wheels in the pattern, ask to work on another skill. If you don’t understand a concept, ask to go over it again. If you want to do a dual cross-country three times before you solo, do it.
And don’t climb into an airplane with the first instructor you meet simply because they’re available. Flight training is both high stress and high risk. Finding an instructor who communicates well and teaches in a way that works for you matters more than most people realize. And don’t feel bad about stepping away from one you aren’t clicking with.
Celebrate the victories, even the small ones. Like so many flight students, I struggled with a fear of stalls for a long time. Eventually, after some coaxing, I found myself climbing into a Citabria for spin training. Ironically, that experience became a turning point. The anxiety I carried around stalls began to fade.
But perhaps the most important piece of all is finding a strong support system. I’m fortunate to have supportive family members and instructors. But I also have a close friend working toward her private pilot certificate at nearly the same stage I am. We encourage each other, vent frustrations, stay accountable, send each other flight training reels, and celebrate every milestone together. I honestly don’t know what I’d do without her.
And that brings me back to the young Embry-Riddle student in the traffic pattern that morning. I think she’s going to be just fine.
She already had the skill. The confidence simply arrived one lap around the pattern at a time.
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